leaving on a jet plane...

this little tib bit was written very early this morning:

"oy! i woke up with butterflies in the pit of my soul...and just this nagging anxiety...i hate anxiety...it makes me feel almost nauseous...but not really...it's really hard to explain...my sweetheart is on his way to vegas at the moment...and i'm left with disappointment and some sadness...why disappointment? well...i can't help wondering what is wrong with me? why am i so afraid to fly? i dream of seeing the world and all of its wonders...but how does one do this when they can't get their big behinds on a plane?

i should be on that plane with him. there is absolutely no reason that i left myself behind...and he is on his way to another country without me. i'm just upset with myself. extremely. i want to experience the world with him. yet...with this incredible fear, i never will..."

now...i feel a sense of calm...i'm ok...and i know that everything happens for a reason...i am not meant to go on that trip with him...he was meant to go with his best-friend. and not for any other reason except they need to spend time together, and his best friend is getting married, so it's kinda like a mini bachelor party, kinda like "the hangover" (but hopefully with all of their teeth)...and i need to stay home and hang out with jackson and some toronto girls...and it's my mother's birthday on sunday, so i need to be here and celebrate it with her...her family means the world to her...and i know that my presence will make all the difference in the world to her...javascript:void(0)

i wanted to uncook up a storm tonight...but i realized i don't have all of the ingredients and i want to use all of the ingredients...so i'll be posting food tomorrow...

i'd be very interested to hear what you all have to say with respect to your fears and fear in general and how you cope with them...and let me know how your week has turned out...this weekend is a long weekend for us canadians...and i am so looking forward to sleeping in on monday...and i AM SOOOOO looking forward to picking up my sweetheart on sunday...i already miss him...(love you bubba, hope you're getting drunk on the plane and having a fabulous time...bring home some money if you can...hehe)...



have a beautiful night my beautiful friends...

the durian that had me close to crying...my saturday with a raw candy girl...

hello my friendlies...hope you are all enjoying the last little bit of your weekend (unless you live in saudi, and therefore, hope you're enjoying the middle of your week)...sundays make me so sad...they always have...meh!

yesterday i spent the day frolicking in fields of flowers...and eating tubs and tubs of cashew creamery ice cream...mint cacao chip to be exact...and playing a harp...



just joking kids!!! that would have been nice though...i did something even more fun...i spent the day with camille...my raw candy girl...we did a little shopping in kensington market, and chinatown...we were rained on quite a bit...it was actually a lot of fun...except i was wearing flip flops and my feet felt really icky!!! we bought a few ingredients for our kitchen party, we unbaked a cheezecake, courtesy of sweet gratitude and whipped up a very gourmet meal, courtesy of living raw food...it was once again...epic...except for the part where i ate durian and was very close to tears...ugh!



that picture was taken before i ate a piece of it...

first we worked on the white chocolate raspberry cheezecake...people...you need to make this dessert...it's INCREDIBLE...i love it...









after dessert we worked on dinner...a gourmet dinner...a very glorious gourmet dinner...even my carnivorous man loved it...i know, right?! one day...we will rule the world...haha!!! camille picked up some squash blossoms at the farmer's market on thursday...we made squash blossoms stuffed with smoky cashew chive cheeze, with red pepper harissa, cucumber mint raita, and tomato olive basil salad...heavenly...and the flavours all popped!







we also had an S&M salad...



durian. hmmm. what can i say? it looked like death. it smelled like disgustingness...and it tasted like something i have never in my life even dreamed of...it was horrible. it actually almost made me cry. and i am not kidding. i was simply beyond disgusted.

hope you all had a very lovely weekend...

jackson wants me to send you all hugs on his behalf...have a beautiful night my friends...and i'm wishing you all a very lovely week...

winner winner winner of sweet gratitude is.................

and the winner of the sweet gratitude dessert book is..................



number 34:

Sarah (GF vegan) said...
You're so kind! Thank you.

Ok, here goes.

1. following you on google friends connect
2. following you on twitter
3. just tweeted
4. you're on my blogroll

Just need to blog about your giveaway now :)



congrats lovely lady...please email me your address and i will mail out the book ASAP!!!

thanks to all for entering and for your support...truly appreciate it...

=)

and don't fret...there will be another giveaway soon...

happy weekend...sending you all hugs...

welcome to my secret garden...

i absolutely without a doubt love my backyard...it's just such a beautiful place to be, especially in the summer, when flowers are blooming and gardens are flourishing...birds are chirping...and butterflies dance and play...i call it my very own secret garden...

so friends...come in...take a load off...enjoy the beauty...and have a tropical berry chocolate coconut summer delight...



mango jackfruit pudding (used jackfruit in place of pineapple)
dark chocolate pudding
fluffy black raspberry cream
coconut vanilla crunch granola
fresh black raspberries
dark chocolate pieces for garnish and dipping

allow me to tell you the story of this magical creation...and how it came to be...

i fell in love with jackfruit...and now i'm addicted...i have dreams of frolicking in fields of flowers with a bag full of jackfruit...



as you all may now know, i adore chocolate...chocolate is my heart and soul...and a dear friend of mine mentioned that dried jackfruit dipped in chocolate is heavenly...so my brain started working in overdrive...



i also have so many tiny beautiful black raspberries in my very lovely secret garden that i decided to create something as beautiful and magical as my favourite place...and share it with all of you...















the table is set...the eve is young...



so friends...take a seat...have a treat...from nelly, with so much love...

oh summer...how i love thee...let me count the ways...

lovebugs!! how are ya babes?

me? i'm tired. pooped. drained. a little sad.

i am missing a couple of ladies like crazy...



i can't believe so much time has already passed since that photo was taken...two weeks...time flies doesn't it? man...sometimes i feel like i need to catch my breath because life just keeps whizzing by...i wish it would slow down just a little...

so i have some news...john won a trip to vegas...i was suppose to go with...BUT...because i am TERRIFIED of flying i gracefully pulled out...and told him that he should go with a friend...i had the worst anxiety attack the other day just thinking about the trip...he is scheduled to go july 29...that is just way too soon for me to wrap my head around the whole thing...i know i'm nuts, right? i tell myself how crazy i am ALL. THE. TIME....but...fear is fear...no way of getting around it...i just hope that one day i will be able to get over it...

moving along to more happy subjects...like summer and food...and a blooming garden...

summer...summer...summer...how i love summer...and it's bounty...farmer's markets...and sunny days...and sitting outside for hours basking in the glorious warmth...watching my beautiful baby garden flourish...ahhhhhhh...how i love summer...

i've been eating a lot of amazingly wonderful raw vegan foods...and i feel brilliant...i've been lucky enough to get some amazing veggies and berries from the farmer's market across from the office building that i work in, every wednesday...my faves are cucumbers...zucchini...beets...cherry tomatoes...fresh ontario corn...sweet peas...bloobs...black raspberries...cherries...ontario strawberries and blackberries...from my garden, i have been lucky enough to harvest kale...swiss chard and collards...various types of lettuce...basil...and today my very first cucumber...


massaged kale salad and zucchini pasta with cherry tomato sauce


kimchi cukes (ani phyo recipe)


cukes and hummus (view from the kitchen from the building i work in)


bloobs and blackberries


cherry, banana, strawberry and sunwarrior vanilla protein (AMAZING!)

pics of my adorable garden...and some baby veggies...











have a beautiful night my friends...and don't forget to enter the sweet gratitude book giveaway...it ends on friday...

sending you all so much love...

someone thinks i am swell...

a few days ago the lovely sarah from gluten free tries vegan awarded me with the sugar doll award...it's nice to know that i am liked...thank you so much sarah...sorry it took me so long to acknowledge it...

i am supposed to write 10 random things about me and then pass the award along to a few of my lovebugs...the only issue i have is that i think you are all sugar dolls...and for the boys...well you're all sugar dandies...hehe!!! so i pick all of you...feel free to put this award up on your blog, and tell the blogosphere that nelly thinks you're swell...and please enlighten us all with 10 random things about you...i would LOVE to read them all...

ok here goes...10 random things about me...

♡ i bite my nails...
♡ my eyes turn forrest green when i cry...
♡ i love to kick doors when i am frustrated...(jokes)...i am very sarcastic...
♡ i FREAK out when a bug (especially spiders) crawl on any part of me...
♡ i use to be a little tap dancer...ballet dancer...and a little gymnast...
♡ i once convinced my mom to buy me ham, jelly and pickles as fillings for a sandwich (found the recipe on three's company)...i hated it...but i had to eat it all...
♡ i lived in italy for two years and went to school there...
♡ i am terrified of traveling by airplane...
♡ i don't like extreme heat...
♡ i am a people pleaser...all about pleasing the peoples...

love you all...you are all my sugar dolls...

you are beautiful...an open letter to you...

i would like to step away from food today...and extend my heart and soul to a world wherein it is needed...my dream is and always has been to help this world...help as many lives as i can...touch as many hearts as is possible...if i can put a smile on at least one beautiful face...well then, my job here on this earth is done...

i've been thinking a lot about life...and how i feel my potential is not even close to being reached...it's so easy to go to work everyday, and do the same thing, day in and day out...isn't it? it's so easy to lead a very simple life...and i do. but it's not enough for me. i want more. i want to do more. i want to help our world somehow. and i will. baby steps. and i begin my journey with this blog entry...

driving home this evening...same route...same thoughts...same radio station, 680 news...i heard about something that really touched me...and i knew it was a starting point for me...and for so many women out there...the dove movement...dove is asking that women take the time to write a little note to all 13 year old girls around the world...to give them the self esteem they need to face this world...and i think it is just such a beautiful message...and i want to take part...and invite you all to do the same...

i struggle with self esteem issues to this very day...had someone told me that i was beautiful NO MATTER what...i think, actually i know, i would be a different girl today...a proud woman...proud of who i am on the inside...because at the end of the day...who i am...is more important than what i see in the mirror...because who i am can change the world...the face in the mirror, well it doesn't really matter...



open letter
to: 13 year old girls around the world; and all little girls and women around the world

lovely girl,

i wanted to start off by saying YOU are beautiful...your heart is beautiful. and your smile can light up this entire world...please don't ever forget that...the sound of your laughter, is music to the world's ears...

life is tough isn't it? but it's beautiful and it's worth it. and the world is even more beautiful because you're a part of it. life isn't about the colour of your hair, or the colour of your eyes...it's not about the length of your nose, or the size of your lips...nor is it about the size of your breasts, or the inches of your waist...or whether you have a butt or not...short or tall...no matter your size...there is only one of you...no one on this earth will ever be able to replace you...you are epic.

life is about you. it is about love and happiness, and making memories...it is about holding hands and singing as loud as you possibly can...dancing, even when the world is watching...it's about taking chances and having a voice...it's about passion and fighting for what you believe in...do everything you want to do, and don't ever give up on yourself...keep going, even if you feel the world has let you down...keep fighting...because you are worth it and you always will be. always be yourself, always be true to yourself, and always believe in yourself...and when you look into the mirror i want you to see your strength and your brilliance. your warmth and your kindness...i want you to know that your heart alone, can and will change the world.

you are beautiful, inside and out...please don't ever forget that. if there is one thing in this world that i know for certain, it's that you are worth an infinity...and you are so loved and cherished.

wish on stars, and dream big dreams...love yourself...forever and for always...

your friend,

nelly



i leave you with a very inspirational song...i always sing this to myself when i need a little bit of a push...and a hug...

i hope you dance....

the universe's greatest gifts...love and friendship...

can you imagine what life would be like without either love or friendship? i can't. and i won't.

these past few days have been fabulous and beautiful...i was fortunate enough to spend these fabulous and beautiful days with kelli...and heathy...i'm sort of still getting over the loss of their presence...but i know i will see them both again soon...love you girlies so much...thank you both so much for being such beautiful human beings...you truly made my life...and i have tucked our beautiful time together in the corner of my heart, it will remain safely, forever, a very beautiful memory...and i miss you both so much!!

we did so many lovely things...you know, the kind of lovely things that only girls can do...girlie talk...and so much laughter...dipping moonie pies...and eating lots of yummy raw vegan food and sweet sweet desserts...dining out...dining in...yoga, lead by none other than the beautiful yogi heathy...shopping in the beautiful city of toronto...what a beautiful beautiful time i had...

i wasn't a very good blogger...didn't take any photos...but not only was i hosting these very beautiful girls...i was also and still am trying to deal with a very sore foot...so please look forward to some very lovely posts and photos from both kelli...and heathy...

we also met up with some other very lovely toronto and greater toronto area ladies...please check out these three very amazing posts by lisa (vegan cookbook critic)...marlie (barefoot and frolicking) and camille (raw candy)...

i'll leave you with a few pictures i was able to borrow from some very dear friends...











and don't forget to enter the cafe gratitude dessert book recipe giveaway...it ends July 23, 2010...i will be making some lovely desserts from this book in the days ahead...my friend and earthbound angel, was so very sweet to make some irish moss gel for me before she left...thank you my girl!!!

have a very beautiful night my lovebugs...

CONTEST CLOSED: when you're bursting with gratitude...give away some sweetness...

hello my precious friends...thank you so much for your lovely comments on yesterday's post...it's nice to know that i am not the only garlic lover out there...

as you all know by now, in a few days i will be hanging out with two very fabulous gals (heathy and kelli)...and i am truly elated...i feel as though i have known these ladies an entire lifetime...i am lucky to know them...the world is a better place knowing that they share it with me...

ok! ok! i'm done with corny for the night...let's get on with it...

because i am bursting with gratitude these days...i have decided to have another very sweet giveaway...i thought it would be so lovely to give one of my beautiful readers a chance to win sweet gratitude...



remember when camille and i made this beauty:





the very talented bitty boo, has made so many lovely treats as well...

here are the rules...

*open to International, US and Canadian residents.

*mandatory: you MUST be a follower on google friend connect. it's on the right hand sidebar of my blog. then leave a comment stating that you are.

extra entries:

*follow me on twitter @nutellaaaa (leave one comment);

*tweet about the giveaway on twitter...please include the link @nutellaaaa on your tweet status...can be done once daily (leave one comment letting me know you tweeted);

*post on your blog about the giveaway and deadline...please leave a comment with a link to your blog post here...(leave 5 comments); and

*add me to your blogroll, come back here and let me know...(leave 3 comments)

DEADLINE: Friday, July 23, 2010