i'm a very sensitive person, and i take things so personally all. the. time. so when i noticed that i had lost a few readers, i wanted to know who they were, so i searched...and i was so hurt to see that one person...a lady i thought the world of, had stopped following me...a girl i opened my house, my time and my heart to had decided that i no longer mattered...this knowledge sent me into a bit of a frenzy...when i'm hurt...man, is it bad news!
so i emailed her...and was told that because i hadn't responded to her (not sure what i was suppose to respond to, there were no recent emails from her) and because she was in a grumpy mood one day, she decided we no longer had anything in common, she also mentioned that because i don't blog as frequently as i used to, i was no longer worth her time...and i thought, wow...wow...wow...and, yes, this is just a blog...but i feel it's a little more...it's a community...a support system...so, no it's not just a blog...
i haven't been blogging regularly...but my life has blown up...my job is extra crazy and i am planning a wedding...those are my excuses...and i think they're damn good excuses...and i choose to put more of myself, my heart and my soul into a day i have been dreaming about since i was a little girl...dammit, i found my soul mate...my happiness...my laughter...myself in someone else...and i am excited that we are taking this step...and i just want to pour my everything into making this one day as special and as beautiful as i possibly can...some people don't care for weddings...and that's their choice...but i do...and it's important to me...so i guess that is all that matters...
i also wanted to add that...i am a penguin...and i do friend for life...so if a friend is not as attentive or time isn't on their side...and they don't have time to focus on our friendship...i will always be there for them...no matter what...when i give my heart to someone, it's theirs forever, no matter the circumstance...i love...and this little bump won't stop me from continuing to put myself out there and i will always adore everyone that matters to me...and those that are yet to matter to me...
so to all of you that have stuck by me...and continue to stick by me...thank you...i will continue to blog as much as i possibly can...and i promise that when the day (wedding) comes and is gone...i will have so much more time to pour into my little world here...and i will do my best to be here for all of you in this time right now...thank you...your time and your friendship mean the world to me...
here's a little cheese for all of you...vegan of course...or not...
and to keep true to this blog...here are a few pics of some of the goodness i have been fueling myself with...these salads have kale, baby lettuce, millet, quinoa, hummus, tomatoes, cukes and a very special dressing inspired by this fabulous lady...i just added some brown rice miso and a little drop of shoyu to it for a little extra...
stay tuned for some cake, vegan and diet friendly, sugar free cake recipes...peanut butter banana bread...and pumpkin banana bread...
i leave you with a couple of questions...
how do you all deal with losing a friend? do you take things personally?
have a beautiful weekend my friends...
I'm not sure why, but ever since I became vegan my friends have been acting awkward sometimes around me. I mean I have plenty of friends, but last year those friends were my bestfriends and now they just sorta pay attention to me at school. Out of school.. they don't ask me to hangout and I know some of them talk about me. I'm also a very sensitive person and last night someone commented on my blog that they had so much to say. And that I don't look healthy and there was nothing to love. Now, my blog is deleted. I know I didn't need to go that far, but I noticed i'm not a blogger type of person for a 14 year old. I've been handling many comments about me from people around me. last year, people called me fat. So what is a girl to do? I started dieting and heavy working out. If someone tells you you're something, your brain gets confused. And you ask yourself, is this actually true? Maybe i'm worthless. So I would look in the mirror, hate myself, and I was destroying my body. Until I came back to school in the spring after summer, everyone was now calling me gross, a sick dog and disgustingly thin. In my head I was thinking to myself.. isn't this what they wanted? I wish people would be thoughtful, kind and think before they speak, spread rumors or act rude before they actually get to understand what a person is going through and what their life is like. Life isn't about judging or moving from friend to friend. I believe in having good, lifelong friends. But it's very hard for that to happen, especially in a highschool where everyone talks about everybody. Why can't people enjoy their friends, help them out, love them for who they are and be buddies (and no, not temporarily), I mean real friends. Some of my friends say they love me and they're my bestfriend and then I find them talking about me via voice or text messages.. I don't know really who to trust besides my family.
ReplyDeleteoh my darling rebecca, i am so sorry to hear that you have been hurt so badly...people can be cruel, they really can and its disheartening to hear such a sad story. if you ever need any sort of support or friendly advice, i am here for you, send me an email...
ReplyDeleteyou're lovely and amazing and don't let anyone ever tell you or make you believe differently. don't give up on friendship and love either...take refuge in your family right now, i do all the time. i have the best family in the world...and i always turn to them...
but please if ever you need a shoulder please shoot me an email...i'm always around to help.
be strong my girl!!! *hugs*
Thanks for stopping by with your kind comments. You have a delectabble blog and I plan on visiting often
ReplyDelete*huggy hug hugs* I'm the same way about friends, I have one friend I've been friends with since 4th grade, we almost about only see each other on each others birthdays now a days, but there's nothing I wouldn't do for her! *whispers* and when you get done with the craziness that will be your beautiful wedding....maybe you can come by and cook for me LOL every recipe/picture you posts looks so very yummy!
ReplyDeletei coiuldn't possibly relate to this at a better time. i found today that someone i considered friend/platonic soulmate for life didn't care about me as much as i cared about them. the thing is, he acted this way after i opened myself to him about my hard life situation...
ReplyDeleteand now i don't know if i should be sad and cry, or be glad that i know i can't count on him in the future.
Hey you! Sorry I haven't been around to comment, I've been slacking on commenting on a lot of blogs, with the baby and all! But vie been reading! My bro in law and bestie are getting married in July, so I relate to all the wedding stuff! I am a brodesmaid and hubs is the best man! Can't wait to hear about your wedding, you will be a beautiful bride!
ReplyDeletenelly i am so sorry to hear about this. you do have very good reasons to be busy...you have to put your life first, take of yourself! I have a hard time in general make friends because I am a shy person. I tend to keep a lot of things in me and not express them, but after people get to know me then I start to open up. I have trust issues or something, haha
ReplyDeleteAnyways I am the same way, once a friend always friend!!
xoxo
Michelle
pure2raw twin
thank you so much ladies!! you're all so amazingly awesome!!!
ReplyDeletepixie...better yet, why don't you just come have dinner with me? haha!!!
jenny - nutellacube is that you??? so nice to hear from you, although, not under the circumstance of your pain...i am so sorry he did that to you...but you should be so proud of yourself...opening up and trusting someone is so hard...you should definitely be happy that you now know that this individual is not around for the long haul...but a good cry is definitely also good for the soul!! i'm here if you need anything...if you wanna go out for a drink (coffee, tea) or dinner...let me know!!! i've missed you.
lauren - please don't apologize for not commenting, i haven't really been commenting either...although i have been reading every post and drooling over your yummy food...and smiling at your beautiful baby A...and ginger of course!!! thank you so much for your kind words! have fun at the wedding, can't wait to see the pics!
michelle - you are such a sweet sweet soul...and i am thankful for you. thank you for your support and kindness...<3
Hey Girl!! Sorry to hear that about your friend. I think you have to be there for people through thick and thin! Yet, I have moved away from people who do not add joy, laughter, and love to my life and who were not true friends to begin with. So, maybe it's better in the end if this person is just going to drag you down? Hope I haven't stepped out here:)
ReplyDeleteLove quinoa mixes with veggies...mmm mmm!!
Very excited to see all these sugar free goodies coming out of your kitchen!!
I KNOW what it's like to plan a wedding and work. It's not easy so I hear you girl!! And yes, don't you ever apologize for spending time making the day exactly how you and John envision it to be!! XOXO
I'm so glad you entered my world, blog or not, just glad to know you. I feel honored to "know" sop many bloggies out there! It is a community and if someone stopped caring for me I'd probably be upset too. I am like you and take things way more personally than they should be (probably always). I guess that is just us. How we see things. We might be too sensitive but that is not necessarily a bad thing.. we just need to learn how to control it. ;)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I am so happy you DID find your sole-mate and are planning your wedding and we get to be a part of it! Even if in a small way, we're a part of your experience! :) FUN!
...p.s. YUM dinner! WOW! I have to make this. It's been far too long since i've had a dish like this.
Oh Nelly - If it's any consolation, I love you and your blog! I also love (and respect) that it's not an 'everyday blog' - I mean, it's quite refreshing! To each person a blog is a different thing - for some, it's a job (i.e. the constant posting) but for others, it's just an extension of our everyday lives - And when things pick up, that extension slows down.
ReplyDeleteI would never discredit a person for the number of post they make in a week or even a month - Not at all! In fact, I quite enjoy it - It's kind of like Christmas morning seeing the little "1" next to a blog on my google reader.
I have found, since blogging, that often times it's a funny dynamic - I mean, I've had people follow me on twitter and 5 minutes later unfollow me - In what I can only assume is to get me to follow them. Total Craziness! But, I've just gotten to the point where I let out a little laugh and move on...
{{hugs}}
sorry to hear about your friend too. not cool. i guess they're a fair-weathered friend? I friend for life too and have a hard time when people don't like me when I haven't given them a reason to but if i lose a friend I just glom onto my trustworthy friends even more. the friend lost has to earn my friendship and trust again and that takes a long time. hang in there girlie! I understand you're busy so I don't take it personally. ;)
ReplyDeletehey heidi...thank you for commenting.
ReplyDeletei'm over it now. i figure it's her loss...i was good to her...and i didn't deserve it...the people that stick by me are worth it...and so i will concentrate on the good and fabulous people that are in my life...not someone that would take so much of me and from me and not even think to offer a bit of patience and understanding. BAH!
love you friend. <3
Hi Nelly! I've been going through something similar lately and still can't wrap my head around dismissing a friendship so easily. Busy happens, for example I'm just now catching up on blogs after taking a break since October! You never know what's going to happen behind the scenes and change the course of your attention. True friends understand :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteaimee - i can actually do whatever i want on my blog...i can say whatever i want and air out whatever i want...
ReplyDeletemy feelings were hurt too...and if i feel the need to to write about it...i will.
and i think berating and harassing people on their blogs and making them feel horrible about their lifestyle choices is far worse.
have a great day.
I'm so sorry to hear what happened. I still consider myself to be your friend. People get busy, things change, but a true friend understands that and can pick up where they left off.
ReplyDeleteAs for the blog, never feel like you have to post or blog about something in particular. This is your place to express your thoughts and feelings when you want to.