Friday, September 3, 2010

i'm not a label...i'm you hate me now?

there is way too much drama in the blog world these days...there are many reasons why i have been silent as of late...and drama is one of the reasons...i have decided to break my silence and just "put it all out there" because of an email exchange i had with a very good friend this afternoon...and i have something to say...i have a lot to say...and it goes a little something like this...

i am breaking my silence because there are bullies in the blog world...i am breaking my silence because when a friend of mine is too afraid to talk to me because they are afraid that i may go "ape" on them...because they may not be 100% raw or vegan, it angers me immensely...i am breaking my silence because i am furious...i am furious because these bullies need to RELAX! they need to mind their own business and stop passing judgment...these bullies need to realize that they are not god...they are not the "universe" and they have absolutely no right to belittle or harass anyone because of their food choices...the last time i checked each individual person is exactly person with one life...individual choices, dreams, aspirations, goals, food one...absolutely NO ONE has the right to bring anyone down because of what they one has the right to bring anyone down. period.

if i told you that i ate a steak last night, and a hot dog for breakfast, would you hate me? if i told you that i consumed a cheese omelet for lunch would you persecute me, tie me to a stake and burn me? does any and all of this make me less of a human being? does it make me a horrible monster? i don't think so. i am still me. nelly. my heart is just as big...i care so much, so so so much about everything, sometimes it hurts...i cry...i hurt...i laugh, i love...i dream...i sing and dance...i johnny is as carnivorous as they come, does that mean that he is the devil? does that give anyone the right to tell him that he is a monster and he's a traitor? my john is one of the most amazing human beings i have ever met...he is lovely, and caring and so filled with life and he has so much love in that beautiful heart of his...does the fact that he eats meat mean that i should call off our wedding and never speak to him again? absolutely not! it's his life and his choice. we were born free to make our own choices, to make our own eat what we do what we want...i love my john, and i always will...i love him for who he is on the inside...and not what he eats for breakfast, lunch and dinner...

this needs to stop. it's nonsense. it's childish. it's uncalled for. it's unnecessary. listen up have no right to judge anyone. you have absolutely no right to make such nasty judgment calls...and you have no right to spew your crap on someone's have NO RIGHT! you have no right to hurt anyone's feelings because of your beliefs. leave your beliefs on your doorstep...leave your beliefs on your blog where they belong.

who cares if someone went on vacation and they left their veganism at home? that's their choice...does it really matter if someone decides to give up veganism because it just wasn't working for them anymore? does it really make them a traitor? what difference does it really make? none. that's what. you have no idea what these people are going through. you have no idea why someone makes the decisions they make. obviously the choices that are made are the right ones for that one person. walk a mile in my shoes and then let me know what you think.

why not take all of this pent up anger and challenge factory farms? why not challenge the government? why not do something more productive with your time and passion? instead of picking on individual human beings, why not pick on someone your own size? bring the bullying somewhere it is needed...because quite honestly it's a little too big and unwanted for my friends. it's a little too much now.

i made a decision not too long ago. that i no longer wish to be a label. it's too hard on me. and i don't have the will or strength to keep up with it anymore. i'm done. i want to be normal again. i don't want to spend hours looking for a vegan wine...surfing barnivore in the liquor store for hours...spending hours before choosing one wine that is suitable. i no longer wish to make any of my family members or friends uncomfortable because i can't have dairy or this or that...i no longer wish to care about trace amounts of dairy or whatever...i no longer wish to be as controlling as i was a few weeks ago. it's not normal. it's not healthy. it's not me. i embarked on this vegan journey looking for health...wanting to feel better...and i ended up feeling very unlike myself.

at the end of the day, i am still me. at the end of the day i still love animals with all of my heart and soul...and will do my very best to protect and honour them the end of the day, i also love humans...humans are my heart and human and no animal should suffer in any way shape or form...and all these happenings...these horrible words and comments coming out of some of your mouths...stop hurting people. stop it. it's not fair and you have no right. take your fight where it's needed...

i love. i love vegans, raw vegans, non vegans, catholics, atheists, bears, cows, pigs, chickens...i love. i don't care what you are, or what you are not. to me, you are all you, people with beautiful smiles and beautiful hearts...

i end on one more note...i am not a vegan...i am nelly.

I am in favor of animal rights as well as human rights. That is the way of a whole human being.

~Abraham Lincoln


  1. going to email a reply. too often the content of the posts like these are loving and respectful but people go "ape" in the comments. often against vegans. to represent the other perspective, i have felt attacked and ridiculed for being a vegan. stereotyped and demeaned. that hurts too.

  2. aimee no one is ridiculing you for your choices. i have never put anyone down for what they believe in, but when it hurts someone else, i would prefer that people keep their opinions to themselves...i think it's awesome that you are a vegan...i commend you...i admire you.

    i just don't think it's right that others attack someone else because they decide to veer from the path of's not right.

    i don't judge anyone. i ask for the same respect...for myself and for others.

    that's all.

    there's no need for anyone to go "ape"...especially when it comes to another's choices!

  3. What a great post, I love that people are getting away from the labels thing. Boo on bullies.

  4. I heart you nelly! It is sad that there are bullies out there who make others feel bad for their choices. I understand what Bitt's saying too that it goes both ways, however there seems to be a rise in "it's vegan or nothing." People have to understand that no matter what decision one has made for themselves (as an adult) we don't have the right to tell them they're wrong any more than they have the right to us we're wrong (sorry, I think I just spoke in circles there). Not everything is black and white. Because I'm not you, I can't say if you're doing something right or wrong. Only you know what's best. My role is to support and offer advice or opinions or share experiences (if asked). That's it. We as humans do have a role to care for animals, not torture, but shouldn't we love each other too? Hold humans in high regard too? Anyway, I think I could on and on about this but for me, people can do what they want, believe how they want, eat what they want as long as they're not hurting anyone else in the process. We all have a purpose here and we all are beautiful. We're all important and more than a label. I am Heidi. I am me. Well said my dear friend. YOu have my respect.

  5. nelly i didn't mean you attacked me, just in general. sorry!

  6. Aww, sweet Nelly ... I'm vegan and I adore you :) ... xoxo

  7. Nelly,
    I hope you're a feeling better soon. I'm sorry to hear that there has been a lot of negativity in the blogosphere. I don't know where I was during the drama-because I seemed to have missed it. I know that people are passionate about food and the internet often brings out the worst in people through the promise of anonymity.

    I think only you can decide the best path for you. I don't think I have the right to tell anyone else what to do, what to eat, or how to be happy. I look forward to seeing and hugging you very soon.


  8. heidi - you are a class act my lady...and i love you dearly.

    lisa - i adore you. you are the definition of grace and beauty...<3

    lisa my girl, i look forward to that hug...thanks for being such a dear dear beautiful friend. wishing you a beautiful day!

  9. Hmm.. I have no idea what's going on. But good for you saying your piece! :) I am a vegan for health and ethical reasons, but I would never push my beliefs on anyone else. Too each his own! :) XOXO

  10. Thank you for such a transparent post! It is crazy how people can get stuck on a label when the choice should be from each individual. We are such a judgemental society, becasue when we "claim" a label, it is almost like we are supposed to be DEFINED by that label. Each person should be concerned for their own choices and their own lives and if they influence someone in the way, then wow, what a blessing, but stop the hating and the judging. Big hugs Nelly!

  11. I admire the strength you have shown in standing up to 'the bullies'. Love you for being you...{{{hugs}}}

  12. great post, nelly. i'll love you no matter what you do, say, eat, etc.=)

    "if you judge people, you have no time to love them". - mother theresa

  13. Hey Doll! This must have been hard to write! I hate to hear that bullies have found you and your friend. That's unacceptable. We need to stop this all-or-nothing mentatlity..and not just with what is on the end of our forks. I believe everyone is out there trying to do and be there best in life and if they end up doing something you don't agree with(obviously to a point) them anyways!

  14. LOVE YOU!

    We just did a post last week about labels (announcing we are no longer vegans, although like you we will do our part to safe animals) and what not...we got your back!!!

    I feel there is pressure out there, but aren't we supposed to learn, help, support, and inspire others?? Not bring them down.

    All I say is - respect! No judging!


  15. Love this post, Nelly! So glad you got this all off your chest. I have done a sorta similar post, my trace dairy in a buttery nipple shot post :) and just posted about horseracing. Many vegans FLIPPED b/c of that. Oh well. Let them. Like you, I am my own person and make my own choices and cannot be "perfect" and many times, people have such high standards to which they hold themselves and others to, they are frankly unattainable. Way to reclaim your life, lack of labels, and just carry on!

    Thanks for the email re the contest and I could write a novel here but am pressed for time:)

    i heart you!

  16. Sweet Nelly - thank you for an amazing post - I have gone through similar revelations as you. You are one beautiful girlie :) xoxoxo

  17. Nelly, you are a girl after my own heart! I see many people that I know posting here.. and I commend everyone on their open hearts! I announced my non veganism a bit ago.. and it is a freeing thing to just be ok with a bit of this or that.. I too love animals. It seems at odds with not being vegan, but again, like others here, all or mostly raw was healing at first, then became a bit harmful to my health (I have chronic leukemia).
    If I have to pick (which is not something ANYONE wants to do) I pick my health for my daughter's sake. It's just that, no fear, no hate, just a personal choice.

  18. We love you Nelly. I like that label better than all the rest. Just be you :-)

  19. Wonderful post, I agree with you wholeheartedly and believe in individual choice. Thank you Nelly, for sharing xxxx

  20. Hello out there! I have no clue what happened here but bravo to you for being vocal about appropriate boundaries and class!!
    Dang, people who stand up for their own personal values/lifestyles should have way more understanding and appreciation for the values/lifestyles of those around them.
    I love you doll!!

  21. I'm so sorry you have been dealing with bullies. I have the utmost respect for you for having the courage to stand up and speak up Nelly :)

  22. Nelly hang in there and just be yourself...that is who we love and care about! You Rawk! xoxo

  23. A(freaking)MEN! Love it.. And I couldn't agree more!

  24. Politely disagree.

    The animals have NO voice but ours. We MUST speak up and be a stand for them, and if that makes others uncomfortable, then that is a GOOD thing.

    Seriously, if having slaves, beating our partners, etc., were all a "personal choice" and people didn't get involved, where would we be?

    I am sorry to disagree, but we must make others uncomfortable with their choices if we are to advance the cause towards a reduced-cruelty lifestyle.

    As a reminder for those that need one, this is what we fight for:


    p.s. There are GREAT vegan dog and cat foods out there; highly recommend them as the stuff you're serving now is known as the "4D's" for the animals they aren't supposed to kill and serve to humans: Dead, Diseased, Dying, or Disabled.

  25. anonymous - why are you hiding? why not write your name? if you truly believe in what you wrote, why not "show your face"?

    and how do you know what i feed my dog?


  26. I am sorry you have been unhappy and agree that we have no right to judge or be mean to each other. Wishing you all the best!

  27. Wowza.

    I think it's a sign of my general obliviousness that I had NO CLUE there was drama of any sort.

    I think that choosing to really embrace a vegan lifestyle is a commitment, a big one, and that if you do it, you should do it with a whole heart. So I guess I don't always agree that it's fine to suspend one's veganism for special occasions -- sometimes being a vegan means sticking with it even when you're on vacay or at a restaurant and it would be SO much easier not to.

    With all that said and done, I also believe that all choices and lifestyles demand respect. Mine and yours. My family, friends, and lovers are or were all non-vegans, and fabulous, healthy people. So I'm hardly a person who says, "if you're not a vegan, you're inferior."

    Hugs, Nelly!!

  28. Without the label, you are free. And I still love ya. :)

    You rock in so many ways just being you.

  29. Whoa momma! Love this post, love you just the way you are! Love those of us who choose to eat non-vegan foods - you're right, in the end what does it really matter?
    Thank you for being real sister. :)

  30. Great post Nelly. Thank you for being you! x

  31. Hi Nelly,
    Missed out on the drama too but I totally hear ya & agree!! Good for you for standing up for what you believe in. Rock on, girlie!! Hope you're having a great week! =)

  32. Animals have no voice but ours. We need to talk and not feel for them, and if it makes others uncomfortable, so it's a good thing.